Share Your Story
Hearing about others' experiences can be helpful when dealing with death and bereavement. Do you have a personal experience that you'd feel comfortable sharing with the campaign? If so, let us know...
Almost a year.
I do not believe it, I do not believe it has happened, I do not believe it has almost been a year. I just want to see him again
This is not what was meant to happen. I do not know what I am meant to do, how I am meant to feel or how to cope. I do all my work, I get good grades, I pretend I am fine, yet I feel so lost. I feel like nothing has happened a lot of the time, even though I spend most my time thinking about my dad. It is weird, it is confusing, and it hurts like hell.
I feel so mixed up, I do not even know what my emotions are anymore. I am scared about going in a direction that I do not recognise, I am trying to work on myself, but what if my pretending or lack of ability to process this information means I lose myself. I do not want to lose myself.
It was so unexpected; how do you process something like that?
20 years was not enough, yet I am so lucky to have gotten those years. I have memories, pictures and videos. I remember moments of laughter that light up my heart. I am grateful. That genuine smile. All I wanted to do was make you proud and I hope I still am.
I am not sorry that I am hurting so much, and I wish for the pain to always be with me. It gives you credit for the person you were and always will be, only now you're in my heart and everyone else's whose lives you touched.
I love you.
Submitted by Anon