Home » In honour of my Dad, who was taken too soon
In honour of my Dad, who was taken too soon
On the 27th July 2017, 7 pm in Stroudsburg, USA. I was working at a Summer Camp where I was due to be spending 11 weeks there and then 2 weeks travelling after. It was my 9th week, I was on my break and was just getting ready to go and work out for a little before being back on shift at 8 pm. When I heard the announcement 'Can Jess from Photography come to the office'. When I arrived up there, that's when my mind and body just knew. My team leader Annie said 'I've got your Mum on the phone'. I asked 'What why'. Then started to cry. Annie replied 'Just go to the phone'. I just kept saying 'no, no, no why!!' When I picked up the phone I can't say I remember much other than my family members crying and me saying 'what's wrong your scaring me'. Then I heard them words, 'Cardiac Arrest and Dad'.
From that moment forward, the next 48 hours were a blur. I remember little points, like dropping to the ground trying to explain to my friends the situation and that I was going home. Luckily, my camp was very helpful and arranged for me to get on a plane that Friday. That whole journey alone was the most difficult time of my life. Not knowing what to think, where my Dad was, the thought that I was going home to my Dad no longer being there was unbearable. When I arrived back in the UK, my Mum and Sisters were waiting for me. As expected the emotion when seeing them was non-indescribable.
With it being a week today since my Dad passed away. I stumbled across this site and just thought I'd write away. I feel so weird as of lately, it's like my heart is broken and I don't know what to think. I've cried and cried and I know I'll cry some more, for the rest of my life. But it's like my Dad is behind me now saying 'Keep your head up Jess, you're fine'. I also never saw my Dad that much because I was either away or he was out, socialising with his friends. Which he loved. So I don't know if that factor numbs the pain I feel a little. Being 20 I don't know the answers to much in life at this point but I do know that my Dad's love for life, family and a good bloody party will stay alive in all of his daughters. I know that in my heart, we will be fine. My Mum will wake up one day and say 'You know what we will be fine' I just wish I could take this pain away from her, that she feels every day but I can not. All we have left to do now as a family is to lift one another up when we are low. Dad would say, 'you're fine kid, get up and get on with it'.
Daddy. Please just know. My heart is broken, our hearts are broken. This world is unreal and I can't believe I will never see your face again. Not getting to check in with you or say goodbye kills me but know that I love you with all my heart and soul. Everything you ever did for us girls and my Mum can't be put into words, you always loved a good party and that's where I got my love for life from. Your spirit, laughter and loving mind and body are still with me forever and always. I will never and can never come to terms with your loss, I love you Dad.