Your Stories

Facing death, we lived, we loved, we laughed.

The look in her eyes when she opened them and realized I was the one standing at her bedside to welcome her into the morning melted my heart every time. I believe my mother’s almost childlike look of joy on those mornings reflected a combination of happiness and wonder: happiness to see me, because that meant we would be spending another mother-daughter day together; and wonder – or perhaps relief – to be awakening to another day at all, because she knew her days were numbered. My eternally wonderful mother was terminally ill with metastatic lung cancer.

A Gift of Grace

I was celebrating my 50th birthday and my husband and I had gone out to dinner and a film. When we got home, my daughter, Keri, said, "Your sisters all called to say 'Happy Birthday', but they didn't sound happy." I knew right away my mom had just died. She had been sick for six months with cancer and we all knew she wouldn't live much longer.

My soul mate died of cancer

My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer with secondaries in liver and bones in June 2011. He died 1 December 2011. We hardly had time to accept the diagnosis before our lives changed on an almost daily basis. I became his full-time carer and he began to slip away very quickly.

Dying is a part of life, that is what matters

For people living with the symptoms of dementia our deaths will most likely be preceded by a period of rational conversation concerning exactly how we want the moments immediately preceding our last breath to be lived. Questions concerning how we want to maintain some quality, dignity and self-awareness.

A good death?

My father died at the beginning of the year. He was almost 96, was ready to go and we had accepted that. In the past year he’d had five falls; on Boxing Day he fell again and broke his shoulder – I could feel the crepitus.

The Journey of Coming Forth Into Day ~ about the role of psychopomp in shamanism

The only certainties in life are death and taxes, according to Benjamin Franklin. So you’d think that, given the 100% inevitability of our demise, we'd make pretty damn sure that we knew a heck of a lot about it. But no. We have every kind of instruction, information, advice and guidance on how to live — but none on how to die.

Cancer runs in the family?

I am 54 and fairly healthy and active. However, having seen my whole family (parents, brother) develop cancer (and in my parents' case, die) I have not totally put my head in the sand over 'death matters'. Yes, it's not easy to talk frankly about death for lot of people, but over the last few years with my involvement with a cancer charity, a palliative care ward in a hospital and conversations with a number of elderly people within the community, it has made the subject less likely to cause raised eyebrows.

Funerals

Found that after the death of my father overseas it was hard to contact everybody with details. Who was doing flowers so people could send them? What was happening afterwards? Notices in newspapers are quickly outdated, especially when there are friends and family all over the world. Facebook was a reasonable medium but not private, and not everyone has a Facebook account.

I've watched friends and family die in agony

I've watched friends and family die in agony in local hospitals. They have mostly been over 60. They have been calling out for pain relief or subdued by the withdrawal of fluids/care and slipping into unconsciousness - luckily. I recommend joining 'Death with Dignity' (previously the Voluntary Euthanasia Society), who are gradually getting nearer the goal for those who want to choose when as well as where they want to die. The Bill usually passes through the Commons without problems, but the religious zealots at the Lords stop it.

Being afraid and being allowed choices

I have found that the thought of dying doesn't frighten most people but it's the thought of how they might die. They want to die pain-free and with dignity and have their loved ones remember them as they are and not as they were! I have lost several loved ones. My Dad's death, many years ago, was very quick and mercifully pain-free for him - but not for the ones left behind!

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Your Stories

Facing death, we lived, we loved, we laughed.

A Gift of Grace

My soul mate died of cancer

Dying is a part of life, that is what matters

A good death?

The Journey of Coming Forth Into Day ~ about the role of psychopomp in shamanism

Cancer runs in the family?

Funerals

I've watched friends and family die in agony

Being afraid and being allowed choices

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