Your Stories

I am 54 and fairly healthy and active. However, having seen my whole family (parents, brother) develop cancer (and in my parents' case, die) I have not totally put my head in the sand over 'death matters'. Yes, it's not easy to talk frankly about death for lot of people, but over the last few years with my involvement with a cancer charity, a palliative care ward in a hospital and conversations with a number of elderly people within the community, it has made the subject less likely to cause raised eyebrows.

I've watched friends and family die in agony in local hospitals. They have mostly been over 60. They have been calling out for pain relief or subdued by the withdrawal of fluids/care and slipping into unconsciousness - luckily. I recommend joining 'Death with Dignity' (previously the Voluntary Euthanasia Society), who are gradually getting nearer the goal for those who want to choose when as well as where they want to die. The Bill usually passes through the Commons without problems, but the religious zealots at the Lords stop it.

My husband was diagnosed in 2005 with MND. We both faced up to the very hard decisions of how he wanted his care and death etc to be. Hardest thing I have ever faced in my life, but SO GLAD we did. He slowly lost the use of his legs, arms, speech and swallowing. He was on a NIPPV (non invasive ventilation) 24 hours a day, had a PEG and a mini trachaeostomy for me to suction his chest up to 50 times per day, but he still wanted to live and be part of our family.

My husband Barry passed away at 64, after suffering from Grade IV brain tumour.We knew that he would not have long, but mercifully he kept forgetting that the doctor said three to four months, even with treatment.We had discussed our wishes about death long ago, and I wasn't going to trouble him about funeral arrangements and so on. Unfortunately he suffered a stroke, caused by the tumour, and was thereafter in hospital for six weeks, coming home finally to be with me.