Talking to children about death is never easy. Commonly, most adults don't think about doing it until a close relative dies. Even then some families try to protect children by not being completely honest about the reality of death, an approach which, most experts agree, can do more harm than good, however loving the intention.
Thankfully these days there are many excellent resources available to help adults dealing with this trickiest of subjects. Two such are the books 'Saying Goodbye to Hare' and its newly published follow-up, 'Remembering Hare', both written by Carol Lee, with beautiful illustrations by Donna Bell. They were written after Carol helped her two sons, then aged seven and nine, cope with the illness and death of their father, Andy, who died a year and a day after being diagnosed with cancer.
Both books are aimed at children aged 5-9. Through 'Saying Goodbye to Hare', Carol aims to help children understand the concepts of death and dying, and to boost the confidence of adults in tackling such daunting subjects. Young Rabbit has a special friend named Hare, who becomes ill and dies. His mother gently but clearly explains to him what death means, and what might happen to those we love after they die. The story covers Rabbit's conflicting emotions - one moment he feels so sad that he cannot even cry; the next so angry that he cannot bear to visit Hare. The story reassures children that all of their emotions are acceptable, and that telling someone how they feel can make them feel better.
The follow-up, 'Remembering Hare', features the same characters coming together to watch a race that is being run in Hare's memory, and reflecting on the feelings and experiences of the first year following his death.
It aims to support children in learning to live with the death of someone close.
As the race unfolds, Rabbit feels a series of conflicting emotions, and is surprised to learn that Hare wasn't always perfect. It's a lovely, heart-warming book about treasuring memories, creating a legacy and celebrating the life ofa loved one when they die. As with 'Saying Goodbye to Hare', it delivers a hopeful, supportive message to children.
Buy
'Remembering Hare' and 'Saying Goodbye to Hare' can be ordered from Southgate Publishers, The Square, Sandford, Crediton, Devon EX17 4LW; Tel: 01363 776888; Email: info@southgatepublishers.co.uk; Web: www.southgatepublishers.co.uk. Books cost £4.95 per copy (plus £2.50 P&P) . Discounts available for multiple copy purchases.
Competition winners
Many thanks to all who entered our draw to win one of three sets of 'Saying Goodbye to Hare' and 'Remembering Hare'. The winners are: Emma Heap, Lynsey Christian and Amanda Butler.
Free downloads
These activity sheets complement 'Saying Goodbye to Hare' and 'Remembering Hare', and have been created with the help of Stevi Cumming, a creative and therapeutic art specialist, and brought to life by the beautiful artwork of Donna Bell. They are designed to be used alongside the book. Download the activity sheets (PDF format).