When is the right time to suggest pallaitive care and can I ??

4 posts / 0 new
Last post
Last seen: 6 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 27/11/2013 - 6:26pm
When is the right time to suggest pallaitive care and can I ??

My father, almost 91, has been in a nursing home for 18 months after being hospitalised with e-coli. He is extremely ill and has been getting one uti after another. As soon as anti-biotics finish he has another attack......very hostile, raised temp and now is incredibly weak and bed ridden. He only has one kidney due to cancer. He has lymphoma. When hosptialised a year ago they thought there was something 'happening' regarding his prostate which we took to mean cancer too. He has had skin cancer removed in the passed 6 years too. We had a phone call 4 weeks ago to say he wouldn't make it through the night - he did. We had the same call Sunday and here we are !! Monday the GP visited and requested another water sample be sent off to try and find another anti-biotic. And so it continues...... I haven't visited for 2 days as I am completely drained emotionally. He says he wants to die......what can I do ????

Last seen: 5 years 8 months ago
Joined: 03/12/2013 - 2:20pm
When is the right time to suggest pallaitive care??

From what I remember about this with my own parents, antibiotics can be considered as palliative because they relieve symptoms of eg UTR which are distressing in themselves. Presume you have signed Do Not Resuscitate forms? Have you told staff he says he wants to die? You can certainly say that he seems close to the end and you don't want them to do anything that will drag it out for him as he is in distress

Irene Young
Irene Young's picture
Last seen: 6 years 1 week ago
Joined: 03/12/2013 - 3:52pm
When is the right time to suggest Palliative Care

I also remember these issues when caring for my own parents......such difficult times for you.
You , your Dad and the medics have to weigh up when the effects of treatment outweigh the benefits........but the most important thing is to discuss this with your Dad.....if he is able to communicate with you.....ask him how he feels about the future.....he may be able to make the decision himself and difficult as it may be to do this, his carers and Doctors should be able to help you with this. As a recently retired Nurse Specialist in Palliative Care, I speak from experience when I say......difficult as these conversations can be......they often bring loved ones much closer together......Good Luck x x

Joy D Wharton
Last seen: 6 years 1 week ago
Joined: 03/12/2013 - 7:56pm
When is the right time to suggest Palliative Care

Anyone, including the patient, can request referral to our palliative care service, however some services ask for the consent of the Consultant or GP.
The ward team caring for your father may be able to advise you on this, or you could try your local hospice.

Topic locked

User login

Top contributors

Esther Stone
since 10/05/2011
since 13/05/2011
since 14/05/2011

Latest Forum Discussions

Latest Blog Posts

It’s time to talk about AtaLoss

As we begin the run up to Christmas, thoughts and conversation will turn increasingly to those...

Death and Funerals in the Pagan Faith

by Awen Clement   We all come from the goddess and to her we shall return, like...