Yesterday, my wife and I spent a couple of hours with a dear friend, now nearing the end of her life, going through a Place of Care Plan. I had been wondering how to open the subject with her, although we had talked many times in general terms about her wishes for her care, but never with the overt slant of facing the end of life. It was prompted by a chance conversation I had at the local hospice, where I take her for day care. They thought she had been through the planning process, but somehoiw, she had slipped through the net. I was dreading the session, though I knew how importnant it was to her. In the event, it was a wonderful time. We discussed things we had never talked about before, like who she wanted with her, and more specifically who she did not want. As we discussed where she wanted to be, I knew the subject of treatments she wanted and did not want was just over the horizon. I was scared of asking, "What don't you want to have done to you?" Yet when we reached that section, she had already made up her mind, and told us without embarassment or fear of the circumstances under which she did not want to be resussicated. I have phoned her several times since, both to see if there were any changes she wanted to make, and to make suggestions of things she might want to include. Somehow, a barrier seems to have been broken down. We now talk freely about a subject I think we had both been frightened to broach. She is happy that her wishes will be fulfilled. I am happy that our relationship is freer and more open. I wish we had done it sooner.