My mum has a new boyfriend

1 post / 0 new
photosynthesize
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 18/03/2016 - 4:07pm
My mum has a new boyfriend

My Dad died of early onset dementia 4 years ago now (I find it so hard to believe it's already 4 years). He was 59, and he started to get ill 4 or 5 years before that. My Mum and brother and I were there when he died, it was the most hideous, awful thing I've ever experienced and I still get flashbacks to it, and to the funeral. My Mum cared for him for the entire time right up to the end until he had to go into hospital, and she spent every moment she could at his side. 
My Mum has been making references to a bloke for a few months, about spending time with him, and I finally asked her today to just be straight with me and tell me if she was seeing him, and she said she was. She said she still loves my Dad and that she's lonely. 
I completely understand and she's entirely deserving of any happiness she can get. I said this to her. She was defensive when I started to cry on the phone, and hung up without saying goodbye. I can't help feeling utterly devastated about it, and angry and resentful towards the man. I've been sobbing all evening, I feel completely heartbroken. I feel almost like I'm losing my Dad all over again. 
I imagine my Mum felt nervous about telling me, and defensive thinking maybe I was implying my Dad was being replaced. I know that's not what she's doing. But I have to be allowed to be upset and she can't be surprised that I'm reacting that way. I wish things could be different and I wish I could get my Dad back. I don't want any of this. It all feels so deeply unfair.

User login

Top contributors

Esther Stone
since 10/05/2011
P
since 13/05/2011
tbonser
since 14/05/2011

Latest Forum Discussions

Latest Blog Posts

It’s time to talk about AtaLoss

As we begin the run up to Christmas, thoughts and conversation will turn increasingly to those...

Death and Funerals in the Pagan Faith

by Awen Clement   We all come from the goddess and to her we shall return, like...