My mum has a new boyfriend

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Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 18/03/2016 - 4:07pm
My mum has a new boyfriend

My Dad died of early onset dementia 4 years ago now (I find it so hard to believe it's already 4 years). He was 59, and he started to get ill 4 or 5 years before that. My Mum and brother and I were there when he died, it was the most hideous, awful thing I've ever experienced and I still get flashbacks to it, and to the funeral. My Mum cared for him for the entire time right up to the end until he had to go into hospital, and she spent every moment she could at his side. 
My Mum has been making references to a bloke for a few months, about spending time with him, and I finally asked her today to just be straight with me and tell me if she was seeing him, and she said she was. She said she still loves my Dad and that she's lonely. 
I completely understand and she's entirely deserving of any happiness she can get. I said this to her. She was defensive when I started to cry on the phone, and hung up without saying goodbye. I can't help feeling utterly devastated about it, and angry and resentful towards the man. I've been sobbing all evening, I feel completely heartbroken. I feel almost like I'm losing my Dad all over again. 
I imagine my Mum felt nervous about telling me, and defensive thinking maybe I was implying my Dad was being replaced. I know that's not what she's doing. But I have to be allowed to be upset and she can't be surprised that I'm reacting that way. I wish things could be different and I wish I could get my Dad back. I don't want any of this. It all feels so deeply unfair.

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