Can you help Rach?

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Last seen: 1 year 2 months ago
Joined: 15/04/2011 - 6:34pm
Can you help Rach?

Rach has posted her story on the Dying Matters site. Her mother died a year ago and she is coming to terms with her loss. She wants to mark the anniversary of her mum's death but doesn't want anything too solemn as her mother was such a 'bubbly' character. How can Rach mark her mother's anniversary in an upbeat way?

Read Rach's story:

Last seen: 6 years 2 months ago
Joined: 12/05/2012 - 2:30pm

Dear Rach,

Sorry for your loss.

When I lost my Dad I got a number of photos of him blown up and transferred onto canvas. I have four of these in a special room in my house and when I feel sad I can do and sit there and be surrounded by images of him. I've also brightened up the room with flowers and other things that I like.

Perhaps you could do something like that with photos of your mum. I know It feels very different than having photos in an album - it's more immediate and intimate.

Hope that helps. x

Phil in Spain
Phil in Spain's picture
Last seen: 5 years 10 months ago
Joined: 02/09/2012 - 5:00pm
Celebrate a cherished life

Hi Rach,

I recognise your sadness as I was still trying to come to terms with the death of my mother on the 7th year anniversary of her death as I had blocked my feelings of grief.

Your idea to mark the anniversary of your mum's death with some kind of celebration of her life is a fantastic tribute and an inspiration to anybody reading your post. An event to celebrate the life of your mum means that in future you will remember the date with happy memories as well as sad.

Perhaps you will have a get together with family and friends where you can swap stories of how you laughed together with your mum. Don't try and do too much, unless you can get somebody else to organise everything for you - just invite a few people to spend an hour or so with you.

You may, of course, be working and/or alone and not be able to dedicate the whole day to a celebration, but I feel sure that even setting aside one special hour to pay a little tribute to your mum in your own way, will be extremely satisfying and rewarding.

Perhaps you will visit one of her favourite places, eat one of her favourite meals (even if you hated it!) or watch a video of one of her favourite films or TV programmes, so that you can picture her enjoying herself. Whatever you decide on, she will be with you.

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