Share Your Story
Hearing about others' experiences can be helpful when dealing with death and bereavement. Do you have a personal experience that you'd feel comfortable sharing with the campaign? If so, let us know...
My dad was a wonderful man. Fit and healthy, never smoked and rarely drank.
22 months ago he started forgetting certain words or replacing them with incorrect words, and the day after he got back off holiday, he was diagnosed with Glioblastoma. A grade 4 brain tumour. It was such a shock. But we were initially optomistic. He had major brain surgery a week later and was told 98% of the tumour had been removed. As far as i thought, he would be having chemotherapy to fight the rest off. And with him only being 57 (at the time), and kept himself healthy, we assumed he would be able to fight it. Unfortunately things went from bad to worse. The chemo and radiotherapy kept it at bay but it never went away. We managed to take him on holiday, go on days out etc, but he would have terrible seizures and infections that left him in hospital for weeks at a time. In january this year we were told he only had a couple of months at most. We were heartbroken. My dad was so depressed, he never wanted to be dependant on anyone. Most of us stepped up and helped towards his care. 3 weeks ago, we were advised he only had days left. He was bed ridden, but at home, and i think that brought dad alot of comfort, as he hated hospitals.
On 9th March 2017. he sadly passed away. Me, my 2 brothers and my dads wife were by his side. Whilst we knew it was something that would happen, we didnt expect it to happen that day, while we were all there. Its like he waited for us.
The only way i can explain the loss is: a constant dull ache all over, a constant dark cloud over me. A feeling of impending doom. I cant help feeling that dad felt pain before he passed, and because he was unconscious in the days leading upto it, he couldnt communicate with us. I see him every i blink. Yet i feel guilt if i have a good nights sleep.
I feel like theres so much unfinished business for my dad. He wanted to retire, he wanted to grow old and buy a house abroad. He wanted to see his grandkids grow up. But cancer stole that from him. I feel so much sorrow for him. I miss him so much.
The Dying Matters Coalition is led by the National Council for Palliative Care,
the umbrella charity for end of life care in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Freephone 08000 21 44 66