Returning to life

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sarah
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Joined: 15/04/2011 - 6:34pm
Returning to life

How long does it take to recover from a bereavement. There are a million different circumstances attached to the death of every loved one which will obviously impact on this, but is there actually a physiological timeline when the body might be said to have healed?

Maitri
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Joined: 07/06/2011 - 11:37am
How long does it take to heal

I stumbled on this website today and found posts unanswered and what do I know, but I sense the purpose of this forum is to talk about death because it matters, so here I am talking.

I wonder where you question is coming from, as you say "there are a million different circumstances" and many ways to interpret the question. We will all hear this q in our own unique way just as we will all deal with bereavement uniquely. For some it may help to know that there is a timeline, a process when the hurting stops, for others the hurting, the tears, the loss is the process that perhaps never stops but deepens and opens and grows in a way that cannot be charted / defined, more cyclical like the arriving at Elliot's ..unknown, remembered gate. How long does it take to mend a broken heart? In my experience the healing is in the breaking, in the living, in the dying, in the process in the speaking. For me, if there is a physiological timeline that timeline will have been drawn from the observation of people like me going through the process of life/ death /life and is meaningless in relation to the next person's process.

Cathy
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Joined: 28/06/2011 - 10:12am
There's no specific length of

There's no specific length of time, either emotionally or physiologically (though there is no specific across the board physiological or psychological response anyway). There are milestones which are generally reached at relatively common points (for example the two year milestone is often significant) but because as you say each time is different, and we all process emotions differently, and there are other elements to consider, such as your relation to the person (you will react significantly to the death of a family member for example, but the death of a child will take a whole lot more moving past, if ever, than the death of a parent), or your emotional health or nature, or whether medication is involved etc etc, so it would be unwise to offer any fixed answer to this.

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