Dreams

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melsdadian
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Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 19/05/2011 - 3:11pm
Dreams

My eldest daughter Melissa passed away in May 2008 after a nine month battle with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I dreamt of Mel on Friday night. I can't remember the exact content of the dream, but I can vividly remember two things. Firstly, she was crying in the dream because she was dying. Secondly, I was crying because she was dying. The dream was so real, I actually woke with tears streaming down my face. Dreams can be so powerful, a dream is the only way I can actually see Mel doing something new, I can talk to her, ask her a question and she can answer me. In dreams anything can happen, good or in the case of last Friday, bad. I remember a particular dream I had of Mel a couple of months ago, in this dream we hugged and I could feel the hug, it was so powerful and when I woke up, I felt like I'd been hugged by her. The joy of that dream is tempered by the fact that I know, the only way I''ll ever get a hug again is in my dreams. There is a sadness too that I don't know when that next dream will happen, it could be tomorrow, next week, next month.... I may never dream of Melissa again. The dream I had of Mel on Friday was unusual, because in it, she was the age she was when she was diagnosed with lymphoma. Nine times out of ten, when I dream of Mel, she's younger than when she died, more often than not she's between ages 8 - 12, rarely older, sometimes younger. My wife's dreams of Mel are even more age concise, my wife says that when she dreams of Mel she's always a young child. What I'd like is a dream channel, where I could remotely pick and choose the dreams I wanted. I could record them or Sky Plus them when I know they will be on... so here I am, going to bed each night, wondering if tonight will be the night when I close my eyes and I get to experience a virtual hug that feels so real, a trip to the football, or I'll just see my wife, my other daughter Becky, Mel and I sat around the table eating our dinner. . . simple events in my life that I always took for granted, but now only occur when I sleep. As Mel used to say when I used to tell her that Everton were better than Liverpool.... "Dream on Dad"

Bridget Fiennes
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Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
Joined: 05/06/2011 - 11:31pm
I'm no expert, but....

I'm no expert in analysing dreams, if, indeed, it is possible to be an expert in such an ethereal field. However, it does seem clear to me - as I'm sure it does to you - that the reason you're seeing Melissa at a young age is because this was the time before her diagnosis; a time of innocence and happiness when you could delight in your daughter with no knowledge of what was to come.

Perhaps your subconscious forces you to focus on these times while repressing/avoiding the times that were ahead.

I don't think you will ever lose your dreams of Melissa, they are too deep-rooted and fundamental, and to feel her hug, even in your sleep, must give you comfort.

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